Memo to all the June Bugs....

WTH?!?! HELLOOOO, it's almost August already!

Why is Audrey is such a bad mood these days? Hormones? possibly...The growing bump?....possibly....The heat and humidity?....a contributing factor for sure....LACK OF SLEEP! Oh, definitely!

Right as I am about to drift off into sleep I'm jolted wide awake by a pong, pong, bang, pong, buzzzz, pong.... the sound of this fat. roly-poly, brownish green beetle flying around all helter-skelter knocking about into the windows and walls and annoying the living crap out of me. They resemble a flying pinto bean. I can't think of any other way to describe it and the sound, when they hit the walls or windows sounds like a bean when it hits the same. And they aren't the brightest beetle in the insect-light-bulb box either! They aren't the most coordinated of the winged-ones out there. They don't tend to fly in straight lines yet bumble here and there, heading towards sources of light and on their way, bouncing off the wall and ceiling over my bed, and onto ME!

But for the past 4 or 5 nights, right around 11pm they seem to come out of nowhere in order to do little else than annoy me and prevent me from drifting off to sleep. Grrrrrrr.

I'm not going to go to the trouble of getting some sort of insecticide, because they only live for a short while in their beetleness. No, I've gone from rolled up newspapers and magazines to last night, at the end of my rope, a long piece of dowling.

Last night was the opening game of the "June-Bug World Series" Current score, June Bugs 0 - me 1!

I have had it! And I wasn't gonna put up with it another moment! I've gone past caring how they are getting in, and gone into offense mode. Out of bed, on the floor, with my bat in hand (ok so it was just a wide dowling but for all intents and purposes, it was the bat of deliverence!), patiently waiting for one of those big, fat, pinto-bean flying bugs to come within strike range...

Audrey steps up to the plate and the pitch is thrown....it's low and on the inside and she starts to swing then the insect curves to the right and bounces off the bed and back into the air, over Audrey's head. Too late for Audrey to recover that one. Strike one.

Batter takes her stance again and wiggles her butt (well hey, I saw it on a ball-game...once...on TV) and the ball hovers high overhead then dips down deep, Audrey swings, connects and the soft pong of the bug hitting the bat turns into a whoosh of the bug being slammed into the nearest wall. The bug drops to the floor and Audrey takes her base - well in this case she runs to where she thought the bug had dropped. The bug, dazed but not down for the count recovers long enough to see the end of the dowling come down toward it and makes an amazing recovery and flies straight for Audrey. Audrey screams and drops the bat and jumps on top of the bed. A major feat in itself. Foul ball!

Audrey calls time and collects the bat, herself, and waits for an opportune moment to take to the batters-box again. The pitch is thrown, Audrey swings, connects and it's a straight line drive into the television set, on which is currently showing the recent remake of "Haunted Mansion" with Eddie Murphy.

The bug is down, Audrey runs, stops, squashes dazed insect, rounds the rest of the bases and has scored a home run!!!!!

I guess that explains the interesting dream I had last night about Johhny Damon of the Boston Red Sox.