14 Weeks Along- Books, Movies and Other Odds and Ends...

Ya know, when I first started this, my goal was to sort of chronicle the pregnancy and first year, among other things in my life. But I've not been keeping up very well.

So, on that note and in the spirit of having a bit of fun, I'm now offering you the "Pregnant Mom's Guide to Summer '05 Movies, Books, and Oddities".....Keep in mind, I'm not a professional reviewer and I don't even play one on TV!

Rather than stars or thumbs up, I'm giving my reviews the "Belly" rating. 1-5 pregnant bellies. 1 belly being total crap, 5 bellies being a top notch film I highly reccomend. Yeah, ok, it's not scientific, but it's my way of doing things! Now I just wish I could find little pregnant bellies to post after the movie titles.

Movies

In the last few weeks I've seen; War of the Worlds, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and Wedding Crashers. And for giggles I will probably see the new Rob Zombie horror flick, Devils Rejects. I know it's bound to be stupid (although he still remains a good friend and someone who while warped, is brilliant!) but it will have a killer soundtrack and that alone will be worth the price of admission. But alas, I am getting ahead of myself.

War of the Worlds....awww what to say? Well frankly, not much. I can't get past the recent images of Tom Cruise and that megawatt smile of his beaming from Oprah's sofa and his hyperactive behaviour. That's all I saw when I watched the film. That and the entire; "Matt, you don't know the history of psychiatry, I do, I've read the entire history"....blah blah BFD blah! Tom hun, when you've got M.D. and PhD behind your name, and aren't just full of yourself, I might be inclined to take what you say with more than a grain of salt. Oh, and when you've given birth and experienced PPD, and managed to get through it without counselling or drugs, then give me a call, I'll listen then. Until then STFU!

Oh yeah, we're talking about the film, right? Overall, it was ok. It was too reminiscent of Signs though. I mean, just real familiar. And I could have done with less of Dakota Fanning's screaming. My ears are still ringing! The special effects were interesting. But I'm sort of thinking this was a movie where I could have waited for the DVD.

I give War of the Worlds 2 pregnant bellies!

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory... I have waited a long long time, it seems, for this movie. And while I am of the personal opinion that Johnny Depp can do no wrong (ok ok, yeah I do have Season One and Season Two of 21 Jump Street on DVD....and Pirates, and Once Upon A Time in Mexico, and Sleepy Hollow, and....and...what's your point?) I had my initial hesitations about this movie. Then I saw some stills and then I saw the TRAILER and I knew it would be great.

And, for the most part it was. I have to tell you though, my favourite part of the film wasn't the film per say, no it was listening to all the kids in the audience laugh and giggle and oooooo and awwwwww over it. It just tickled me. I was bit concerned because there were some really young young kids there, I'm talking 4 or 5 and I think some of it may have been too intense. And being that I was there on opening day, the cinema was packed with kids. But just listening to them laugh made me feel good all over.

The film was bloody marvelous! And Tim Burton (directed) kept to the original book by Roald Dahl. He brought back Veruca's squirrels which I missed so much in the first Gene Wilder version and he brought the ending of the book to film. We also get to see more of Charlie's father...a rather pathetic soul but it was nice that his character had more of a part in this version.

Freddie Highmore, the little boy who made me cry so hard in Finding Neverland, was just great in this! I heard that Depp picked him especially for this role. I don't think it's too far fetched to state that we'll probably be seeing a lot more of Freddie in the future. While you come away feeling for his lot in life, he wasn't nearly as pathetic as the oringinal Charlie played by Peter Ostrum, well over 30 years ago. No, this time, Charlie was a really likeable chap who I wanted to cheer on!

The other kids were well cast. Although what was with Violet Beauregards' Mother? Did I actually see her flirt with Willy? Ewwwwwww. She was really kinda white trash and had the most annoying eye makeup. Well then, leave it to a female to notice something like that about another female. *lol*

Depp was brilliant, just amazing. I think he was able to convey more of the sense of a lost childhood that you get from the book, then we actually got from Gene Wilder. His capped teeth and certain mannerisms were a bit creepy, but then thats the feeling I got from the book all those years ago too. I think he nailed Willy Wonka!

The only part of the movie I didn't care for were the musical numbers with the Oompa Loompas. Hey that reminds me, Christina, they aren't in the least bit scary or freaky this time around....go on, go see it! *lol* No, they weren't scary....just kinda stupid. Well the musical numbers with the Oompas were. It was like freak disco routines. By the time they get to the last rotten kid I wanted to skip that scene altogether. But, that was the only issue I had with the film. The rest of it was great. Special effects were amazing, and aside from the Oompa Loompa's musical scenes, I enjoyed the overall score of the film.

I give Charlie and The Chocolate Factory 4 pregnant bellies!

Wedding Crashers....Oh my goodness! I don't think I have laughed this hard in a long long long time at the cinema! This was one of the most hilarious movies I have seen in such a long time. It was really hot the other day when I went to see this and my choices of which films to see were limited. It was either this or Herbie or Bewitched....both of which I think I can wait for the DVD.

I'd forgotten that Owen Wilson was in this as well as Rachel McAdams...and after buying The Notebook on DVD (I never got around to seeing it at the cinema) I just adore Rachel. I think she's not only beautiful but is very talented. Ok, oogling Ryan Gossling was nice too!

Anyhow, back to Wedding Crashers....It stars Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn and Rachel McAdams, as well as the wonderful Christpher Walken. And Jane Seymour plays his wife and she's rather trashy and vampy...ok she's a slut. It was interesting watching her play someone like this, so far removed from Dr. Quinn - Medicine Woman.

The basic premise of the movie was these two guys, Jeremy and John played by Wilson and Vaugh who crash weddings in order to get women and get laid. Aside from bouncing boobies, the opening scenes were some of the funniest ones I have ever watched. They take on different identities, Scottish, Irish, Jewish, etc at these weddings and mix right in with the guests. They tell tall stories in order to garner the sympathies and eventually the panties of the women...Anyhow they eventually end up at the wedding of Christopher Walkens' eldest daughter, can't recall who the annoying blonde was that played her. Oh btw Walken plays the Secretary of Treasury, which makes the movie all the more interesting. Both Jeremy and John end up meeting the Secretary's other daughters at the wedding - McAdams and I can't recall who plays the nutzo redhead daughter... Jeremy and John take on the identities of venture capatilists at this wedding and manage to get themselves invited back to the Cleary's home for the wedding weekend festivities.

Hilarity ensues- even as McAdam's character has a long-term boyfriend, John (Wilson) falls hard and fast for her. In one scene, in order to get rid of her annoying, ivy league poser boyfriend, John pops some eyedrops into the guys wine at dinner with disaterous gastrict consequences befalling the poser boyfriend. Thus allowing McAdams and Wilson some time alone and to get to know each other.

In the meantime, the crazy redhead daughter, the one that Jeremy (Vaughn) hooks up with is just insane. Sexually anyhow. She's also very clingly and throws some amazing tantrums. After bedding her at the wedding, she states she's in love with Jeremy who himself wants nothing more to do with her and wants to get the next ferry back to D.C. She even goes so far as to tie him up and attack him one night, stuffing one of his own dirty socks into his mouth to keep him quiet. She leaves him there after she has her way with him and in the middle of the night, the Cleary's gay son comes in and finds Jeremy in a very compromising position.

It all works out in the end. I won't give too much of the story away, but it was more than worth the price of admission and my sides still hurt from laughing so hard. The only negative at all about this movie is that it was long, right at two hours. I think it could have been wrapped up in 1 hour 45. But that's the only detractor. I'd even go see this again in the cinema. And it's definitely a DVD we will add to our collection.

I give Wedding Crashers 4 pregnant bellies!

Books

Aside from the various pregnancy books I've been reading, of which there is a plethora of, the only ones I can reccomend right now are; "Your Pregnancy Week by Week", "Belly Laughs" and "Pregnancy Sucks, When Your Miracle Makes You Miserable" . But being that this post is already long enough, I wont go into reviews of each of those as they are subject specific and probably not of much interest other than to other pregnant women. If you want to know more, email me and I'll give you as much detail as I can.

I am also in the middle of reading two other books right now; "Haunted" by Chuck Palahniuk and "Nine Mile Bridge, Three Years in the Maine Woods" by Helen Hamlin. Not far enough into Haunted to give an opinion other than, it's a slow read. And Nine Mile Bridge I first learned about while browsing through a copy of Downeast Magazine at my dentists office the other day. I asked the receptionist to photocopy the article about this book and I went and bought it later that day. Its a non-fictional account of a logging camp school teacher and her time spent living and working amongst the loggers of the 1940's. She spent her life in the Maine woods and so far it's a very interesting look at life back then...in particular a way of life that no longer exists. I'll have a more in depth review, possibly, later on.

But now, for the big ticket review of the summer.....

But let me just preface this by stating that I know there is a small debate going on amongst certain groups about this book and the possible "demonic influence" it might have over children. Yeah ok, Pope B16 is on a rip about how this book is evil and will influence the souls of the young.

Please!

As a parent I am fully able to censor anything my children read. Well if I had them full time, I would. And as an independent thinking adult, I can have a discussion with my children about real vs. imaginery and good vs. evil. However, my children have an ass-backwards father who they live with that will not let them read anything from this series of books, see the movies or talk about it. He also refuses to let them see any of the LOTR movies. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

Just what book are we talking about? Only this summers most awaited book in a much beloved by the world-over series.....

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.....I read the book in less than 24 hours. Personally I thought it was the best of the series. Others disagree with me and I can see thier point of view. But I have read all of the other books in the series and have watched all of the films made so far.

Harry is another year older and it seems less pessimistic this time around. In the last two books, he's been so broody, moody and almost depressing! I've wanted to smack him 'round the head and tell him to snap out of it!

This book sees Harry, Ron and Hermione back at Hogwarts for thier 6th year. It also sees a deepening of the relationship between two certain characters, well between 4 characters, (go get the book, I'm not giving it away!) and sheds a rather questionable light on one of the other characters. Draco Malfoy is back and more evil than ever, stupid cow....and we get a deeper look into the past life of Voldemort. Harry and Dumbledore grow closer and work together to fight Voldemort. Yes, people die in this book, and that's all I am going to say about it. Well ok, yes I cried at the end. Ok, I really cried. I think Rowling did a spot on job of conveying the intense emotional loss at the end. My little sister, Amanda even cried at the end. But then, we both bawled our eyes out at the end of the last LOTR movie....even though we both saw it in the cinema in excess of 5 times each. Yeah, we're definitely related.

I can't say too much more about the book, other than to mention the humour is more pervasive this time around. The entrepreneurial Weasley twins, Fred and George, are making a serious go at thier business and in the process making some nice bling...and in the process, providing a lot of laughs. Ron as always in his bumbling manner is the cause of much mirth, and even Hermione, in all her annoyingness, is the cause of some giggles here and there.

Oh and for those pre-teens still easily grossed out by romance...well I can tell you there is a lot of snogging in the book! So, get over it. Won't be long now before you yourself have your face plastered against someone elses.

I give Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince 4.5 pregnant bellies!

And that my friends concludes this very long edition of "Pregnant Mom's Guide to Summer '05 Movies, Books, and Oddities". I hope you've enjoyed this mornings episode and can join us once again when I review whatever I've seen at the cinema or read. Until then...*cue Lawrence Welk closing credits music* so long, farewell......*cue bubbles*