Privacy and the Internet

Hmmmm.....where to begin?

Well, for those that know I'm going to Baltimore this weekend, yeah it's to get together with a few others I'm close to who are either "imports" to the US or have married "imports"....*lol* And while I made mention of possibly posting some photos of all of us, I don't think I'm going to out of respect for those who wish to retain some of their annonymity and privacy.

Now, I know that some of you who know me through VJ will say; "whoaaaaaaa Nelly!, if anyone should be concerned with their privacy it's YOU! Especially after all the crap that went down on VJ." Well you would be right. And I am concerned about my privacy after three people out there last winter tried to interfere with our immigration case by calling the London consulate and attempting to make it look like Gareth was trying to enter the US fraudulently. Long story short - which most of you know already - they failed miserably and were almost offered a one way ticket - courtesy of Deportation Airways USA- back to where they came from. Luckily (for them) it didn't come to that. Sadly I now wish I had opted to press charges and send them packing!

What happened to us was bad enough but we were not the only people that some truly horrible stuff happened to out there....there were others who were victim to some truly nasty stuff. I dunno WTF is wrong with people out there. Sadly though, it's not just VJ, people can be nasty and stupid on other message boards/BB's as well. VJ was the first BB I had ever participated in. I thought it would be the last. To the degree that I participated in VJ, it is. My involvement with the pregnancy BB is limited at best. But that's more to due with the vast age differences between myself and the other mommy's-to-be out there.

Then there's the little issue of another certain person who posts on VJ and her unending efforts to find out who I am, and where my mother practices law...and she's gone to some pretty crazy lengths- phoning former professional aquaintances of mine, things like that. Add to that, recently I found out I'm not the only one she's been "stalking"......Why she's still allowed to post on VJ is beyond me especially when Gareth had a long conversation with the *cough* admin of VJ and the *cough* admin knows and has proof of what she has been up to. The *cough* admin went through her PM log and saw the searches she was doing on me and my mother and then sending to someone else through VJ. How stupid is she anyhow to send stuff like that through VJ? Silly cow!

I did learn though and have since had more than 200 threads that I started, pulled off of VJ.

So you're probably sitting there saying to yourselves; "sheesh why would you post such personal stuff on your blog?"

So why do I post what some might consider "personal"?

First of all, there is nothing of an overtly personal nature out here. But also, this is an easy and adventurous way for me to keep those I love and care about, friends and family- updated. And it's also a way for me to share my thoughts and feelings about not only the pregnancy, but other things that I deem important, silly, amusing, aggravating....etc. And in all honesty, there is not enough posted out here about me or my family to worry me enough into not posting altogether.

Since the crap on VJ, Gareth and I have taken certain measures since last winter to better protect ourselves, but yet not completely give in to total paranoia about harrassment and people pulling stupid stunts. We are trying to be careful without letting the fear of what happened last year make us completely reticent to post anything about what is a very special time in our lives. The other aspect of VJ was, at the time we were posting our "immigration timeline" in our signature which was viewable for anyone and everyone to see. Enough information was gathered from that for those who phoned the London consulate to put together a pretty good idea of exactly who we were.

And if there's one thing I will never share with anyone ever again is information like that. I'd rather post my last name then ever share our immigration information. At the time it was what everyone out there was doing. Well they still are! The site now has a means of allowing users to input information into searchable fields whereby it is collecting timeline information and using it for statistical data. While there are no case numbers included, the timeline fields ask for names and things like that. There's no rule about not posting a timeline, but for someone worried about sharing some truly personal information online, why you'd post sensitive information like your immigration timeline is beyond me!

But kiddies, bottom line is this, there is NO SUCH THING AS PRIVACY ON THE INTERNET. Whenever you enter into an endeavor, whether it be a blog, posting to a message board, using chat rooms, or even IM services, you cannot be assured of your privacy at any time. All you can do is take some basic precautions and be careful about what and how much about yourself you post. And even then, for someone who is determined to gather information, all it takes is the tiniest bit of information to open some very large doors into your personal life.

And just because I "blog" doesn't mean I have little regard for my own privacy or that of my family. We're careful. We no longer share certain things with other people we've never met - no matter how close we are to them or how much we feel we can trust them. But we don't let it dissuade us from forming new friendships either. Like I said, we're just careful.

So while I might be feeling a bit better these days about posting pictures of myself, or immiediate family or certain things about our lives, I'm certainly not going to go against the wishes of those who do not feel the same. My friendships are far more important than my vanity.