25 Weeks Along - Something Totally Laughable.....And Then There's Bellyzilla!

The things one finds on the internet when one can't sleep.

Britney on Diapers

Brit's Totally Tweaked Tip No. 12: Pick a diaper that doesn't make baby's butt look big. That's, like, so gross. I got the guy who did my red leather costume from the "Oops" video to make me some low-slung, high-rise diapers out of mesh and latex. Sure, they leak like crazy, but they look totally hot!

Britney on Baby Photos

Brit's Totally Tweaked Tip No. 87: Remember, you can always airbrush baby pictures to remove imperfections or change the little one's eye color. I do it all the time on my album covers!

While the above is a spoof, for some reason I don't think this guy is too far off the mark when it comes to young mother, Britney Spears!

Here's the link to the entire Yahoo/Eonline! article:

http://yahoo.eonline.com/Features/Features/BritneysBabyBook/index.html?yhfresh

This is pretty sad. I've been up since 4am. There's total crap for TV at this hour and I can't get into any of the books I have, namely because I've read them all, already. And I just joined this "January Baby Board" thing....for mom's expecting baby's in January 2006....and God love 'em, they're the sweetest bunch of women, but I'm discovering that most are VERY young, some not even 25, very early 20's and there are maybe 2, possibly 3 mom's that are my age. *sigh*

Don't get me wrong, I'm enojying the BB, it's just that I wasn't quite prepared for all the interesting topics. It's nice that they all feel so comfortable talking about a lot of this stuff. And then there are all the belly pics they're all posting. *sniffle* They all have such cute, tight little bellies....and here I am with Bellyzilla! Catch me posting a photo of my belly! Ha! I'd sooner gouge my own eyes out!

I do wish that there had been something like that around when I was pregnant with the twins or Zack. But I was in such a different place in life back then, that I'm not sure I'd have found much solace with being able to read others' experiences or share my own. It is however, reassuring to know that what I was feeling back then was totally normal.

Like I said though, I'm in a very different place in my life now.

I'm totally secure in who I am, while I might still have issues with my outward appearance - a transformation which peanut here has nicely interupted- I am much more confident on my inner person and secure in my ability to be a good parent. That doesn't mean I still don't have worries and fears. I do. And the BB is nice for that. For instance, I had such an easy time nursing Zack last time around, that I worry this little one is going to be picky and won't latch on or there will be some other issue. I'm terrified that the nurses in the nursery are going to supplement her feeding in the begining because I've had a C-Section and can't properly nurse her right away. But, I think I'm going to address that with my doc next time around.

There are also other things that make this experience, this time around, so much more rewarding.

I am married to the most wonderful man. I know I gush about quite a bit about Gareth, but it's true. No matter how I'm feeling about my outward appearance, he always makes me feel amazing! And believe me, there have been times when I have woken him up out of a dead sleep to just cry about some stupid little thing, and he never complains. He's probably seen, sat through - well held me through, some of the longest crying jags I've had in my entire life. I'm just incredibly emotional this time around. And Gareth never bats an eye, but rather reminds me that he's always there for me.

He takes time every day to tell me how beautiful I am, no matter how fat, or unsightly I am feeling. And he's genuine about it.

And I'm totally secure in our relationship, something I never was with Mike. I wasn't secure in who I was either, which of course meant I wasn't secure in the parent I was and my children suffered as a result of all that insecurity.

I can talk to Gareth about anything...not just generally, but pregnancy related as well...and folks, I do mean anything. Of course, occasionally he'll joke about being totally "put off his dinner" but he encourages me to talk about things. Some of this stuff I don't even talk about with my closest girlfriends. *lol* Gareth has shown such an active interest in this pregnancy from day one though, that it makes it easy for me to discuss some of this stuff with him. And I've seriously tried to gross him out a few times. He's pretty steadfast. And I'm discovering, from reading not only the BB I just joined, but other information sites and books, that a lot of men just tune out. Oh sure, they go to the OB appt's with mommy and are "there" for her, but they really aren't all that interested in the day to day minutia of being pregnant, and they most certainly don't want to hear about your painful boobs, your hemorhoids, or how your prenantal vitamins give you gas. Of course they perk right up when they hear rumour of this alleged "increased sex drive" some women experience during pregnancy! *lol* Gits! Thankfully for me though, Gareth is interested in it all!

I have faith in Gareth's ability to be a great parent and our ability as a couple - as parents, to raise this little girl into a wondeful, loving, compassionate human.

While, out of a physical insecurity about my outward appearance right now, I wouldn't be caught dead posting a photo of Bellyzilla on the BB, Gareth never misses an opportunity to to quash my petty insecurity about it and remind me that there is a beautful baby girl inside Bellyzilla just waiting to come out and be loved.

And somehow, I can't help but feel a little bit like some of that inner beauty that she carries, is outwardly radiated through me.