At The Beach

Saturday we decided to "roast and toast" out on the beach. So you ask, "you live at the beach, why not do this every day?"....because my dears, this is also high-tourist season here in Maine right now and I've about had it with all the holiday makers. I'm about to go smash some heads together if people dont stop being stupid! Grrrrrrrrrrr.

And after yesterday and the past few times I've spent any more than a few minutes on the beach, I've decided that I'm over living on the beach. I want to live near the water...like a nice bucolic rocky bluff overlooking the water, but this beach living is crap! And I'm soooooooo over sweeping sand out of the house.

Add to that, I must really be getting old, because I find myself sitting there critiszing what some people chose to wear to the beach. What gets to me most of all is women with "muffin tops" (now don't go and make me have to explain to you what a "muffin top" is, Mom, if you dont know, ask Amanda!) wearing revealing bikini's, and then if that weren't bad enough, women with so much cellulite on their legs that you're not sure if you're looking at a part of the female anatomy or a walking slab of cottage cheese.

Perhaps, in addition to lifeguards, we need the fashion police to monitor our beaches as well. It would save folks like me from suffering permanent eye damage. Oh but wait, we don't even have lifeguards. Hell, most of the time, the water here in Maine is too damn cold to swim in. I don't usually brave the Atlantic except maybe once or twice in August after its had time to warm up a bit. Although Matt found the water "warm". Kids nowdays!

I mean hell, I'm the last person you'd ever see in a bikini....EVER, but there are some women out there that just don't understand the concept that a bikini is a PRIVELEDGE, NOT A RIGHT!!!! Some of the women I saw out on the beach yesterday looked like so much sausage in twine. Sad...just so sad and so wrong on so many levels.

The same can be said for men.

You do not wear white athletic socks with your big ole North Dakota K-Mart sun-seeker sandals, your beige cut off chino's and then top your fashion disaster ensemble with a warm up jacket with stripes down the sleeves. And you wonder why your wife and kids are walking a good 50 yards behind you. Dude, your dog is even afraid to be seen on the beach with you.

So see, it's better that I stay indoors lest I make a complete ass of myself and proclaim myself the fashion police for our beach.

Well, that and I seem to have a problem with applying sunscreen evenly to myself. Lets just say I look like a 50/50 bar.

So how about some pictures?

I thought you'd like that. Oh and remind me to take an aspirin before we venture out to the water again. Matt just about gave me a heart attack yesterday. All of a sudden this kid decides he wants to go swimming. He is not the strongest swimmer in the world, lets just leave it at that. Oi! No more swimming in the Atlantic until Gareth is home and I can dump Gaby in his lap and go rescue my son from his own bravado!

Where were we? Oh yeah, pictures.

Here ya go.





Gaby got so tickled everytime the breeze blew on her. We gave up with the tent after she rolled out of it a few times and it "flew" away. We had a breach umbrella too, but Matt got tired of chasing it through the sand dunes after about the 7th time it blew away, so we took that back to the house too.










Matt being bold....he said he was just going to go "dip his toes in the water" so he could tell everyone he'd been "in the Atlantic ocean".......



So much for just "dipping" his toes in the water. He was wayyyyyyyyy out there and just kept going farther out. I'm glad he enjoyed himself, but cripes it made me a nervous wreck!



Notice the girl in the orange bikini.....closer up she was quite the frightening picture. Quite the big girl she was (and yes, so am I, but you won't see me in a bikini, yet alone a ORANGE one!)...anyhow, she decided to sunbathe......TOPLESS! 'Nuff said about that.