It's A Boy!

Yes folks, that’s right, it’s a brand new bouncing baby boy for Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin (lead singer for the band Coldplay). Gwennie gave birth sometime this past weekend.

And what did they name this new boy-child, baby brother to Apple, you ask? No, they did not name him Pear, or Papaya, or even Parsley. Grab your Old Testaments and make way for the latest edition to the Martin clan…Holy Ten Commandments Batman, its Moses! That’s right, Chris and Gwyneth have christened their tiny tot with the same name as the man with the stone tablets who led the masses into the desert, who parted the red sea and put the Oi in Oi vey….well ok, I’m not so sure about the Oi thing, but you get my drift. And I’d be willing to bet his first phrase will be; “let my pacifier go!” And then his first edict to big sister Apple will probably be something along the lines of; “Thou shalt not covet thy brother’s blankie!”

And here I was hoping for another fruit accompaniment for little Apple. I mean come on Gwennie….get with the program already! They could have come up with several other cute names and stayed within the fruit and veggie family.

Let’s see…..we have Broccoli and he could have gone by “Broc” for short. Then there’s Persimmon and we could have nick-named him “Percy”. And even better still, there’s Tomato and we all know what we could have called little boy Martin for short…..”Tom”!

Awww well, being that my hopes have been dashed for another edible Martin, I am still holding out hope for the Pitt/Jolie collaboration….They have two possibilities; Peach and Cherry. But then they could always go with “Bottomless” if they’re trying to be witty or cute. Well, come to think of it, I think Peach, or the plural, Peaches, had already been snatched when Paula Yates and the late Michael Hutchence named their baby girl Peaches.

What’s In A Name?

Speaking of interesting (and I use the term loosely) monikers given to the offspring of celebs, what’s up with some of these? Penn Jillette, of the comedy/magician team Penn and Teller has named his little girl Moxie Crimefighter Jillette. What the hell was he thinking? Now I have no problem with Moxie, I’d even go so far as to say it’s cute… but “Crimefighter”? What if she ends up being a defense attorney, or worse (not that defense attorneys are a bad thing) she could grow up to be a criminal mastermind. Well, it could happen!

Then we have Jason Lee who named his little boy, Pilot Inspektor. No, I didn’t misspell it, that’s how Lee spelled it. Someone tell me what inspired these people to give their kids names of possible professions? Not only that, how long do you think it will take the kids on the playground to point out to little Pilot that his dad misspelled his middle name? Or start making him the butt of jokes? The same can be said for Apple Martin. Oh she’s just ripe for jokes! “An Apple a day keeps the doctor away”, “Apple pie”, “Apple of my eye” and the list goes on and on.

Oh and we can’t forget the streak of genius that overcame Rob Morrow when naming his daughter. Anyone want to take a guess at what he named his little girl, born in 2001?

Come on, put your thinking caps on.

Oh, and I’m dead serious about this.

If you’re still having trouble, think of the popular song from the children’s musical; “Annie”.

Still stumped?

Ok, I’ll give you some help. Rob Morrow named his little girl, Tu.

Tu Morrow.

Did they accidentally give HIM the drugs whilst his wife was in labour? That little girl is forever doomed to be taunted by lines from the song; “Tomorrow”….is only a day awayyyyyyyyyyyy. Not to mention she’ll probably be asked numerous times if her parents were on crack when deciding what to name her.

Robert Rodriguez (director) must be a fan of NASA, NASCAR, and Billy Idol and James Dean as he has named 3 of his 5 children, Racer, Rocket and Rebel. And who can forget those Zappa cuties, Dweezil and Moon Unit.

And to think Gareth gave me so much grief over wanting to name the baby, had it been a boy, Tucker!