12/30/05 Afternoon NICU Visit

Home again from another visit to see Gidget. Sometimes I get to feeling like we're in the way, but we were reassured today that we're not and that we're her parents and if anyone is in the way, it's the nurses. It was kind of them to say that, but I know that if it weren't for them, the docs and the staff there at MMC/BBCH that we would not be getting through the woods, so to speak.

They continue to wean Gidget down on O2 and the oscilatting ventilator. Although I don't think they'll be too agressive, it's nice to know we continue to head in the right direction. Her blood gases and x-rays and other tests all continue to come back with results the docs want to see. We are encouraged by all this. That's not to say that she is not still a very sick kiddo...she is, but she is getting better. Her lungs are still inflating nicely and that's the kind of consistency we really like to see. God continues to watch over our little girl as well as those caring for her on a daily basis.

So, guess what I go to do today? I got to take her temperature! And no, not the rectal kind either! Makes me squeeze my own butt-cheeks together just thinking about it. Just under the arm. And I know it might seem like just a little ole thing to anyone else, but it was real interaction and physical skin contact with my baby girl and it meant the world to me to be given the chance to do something like that. Gareth did try and get a picture but the angles just didn't work out. Just the same, it did my heart a world of good to be able to do something like that for Gidget. Little things like that go so far towards making a parent of a NICU baby feel more connected with their child.

And I sit here now, not wanting to wash my hands. I still smell like her. Here I go again, constant water-works today. If it's not my eyes leaking, it's my boobs. Oh well. *lol*

Speaking of tears, I mentioned this when replying to one of the comments left earlier, but I am having a hard time reading any of the books we take with us to the NICU. Yesterday it was a very sweet book called; You Are My I Love You by Maryann K. Cusimono and with lines from it like:

I am your audience; you are my clown.
I am your London Bridge;
you are my falling down.

.....

I am your way home;
you are my new path.

I am your dry towel;
you are my wet bath.

...Well, I couldn't get through to the end of it yesterday and Gareth had to finish it. I just burst into tears. Then this afternoon we took Stellaluna with us, which has long been one of my favourites and I was no further in to the first page when I started to cry again. It starts of with the Mama bat losing track of her baby bat, Stellaluna. So like the hero that he is, Daddy came over and read her the entire book. He did a far better job of it than I did anyhow. And not only that, but the nurses would stop by and listen for a bit to the darling accent of his. It's really funny to watch the nurses listen to Gareth, and often times they'll just ask him to "talk" just to hear his accent. Just like with his daughter, he had most of the nurses on the post-partum floor wrapped around his finger. That's my Brit!

As far as my own recovery, well I do really need to post my "birth story" not only to my Mommies board, as is the norm, but out here. It was quite a different C-Section this time around and my labour was interesting to say the least. I will get around to it, just not today. I am having issues with trapped air between my shoulders and severe edema that's getting painful. But, I did tell God that if he'd take away some of Gidget's pain, I'd gladly bear it. And I was serious. So whilst I am a tad uncomfortable and sleeping is a challenge to say the least, I can't complain, not whilst our baby girl has all those tubes and lines attached to her. I would in all sincerity take on any pain in the world if it lessened what that baby goes through.

I think that about wraps up another update for the time being. We'll head back to the NICU tonight after the 7pm shift change, but not without a stop at Borders first to pick up some other books of the less emotional variety....along the lines of Dr. Seuss! I don't think there is too much of a chance I'll become a leaky faucet whilst reading: "Green Eggs and Ham".